Little Brothers, First Love and Sons
by Smudge93
Summary: A Wee!Chester tale. John discovers that Dean has met his first love, now all he has to do is stop it tearing his family apart. A little story of a father and his two sons, and for once nothing supernatural nipping at their heels. Set pre-series so no sp
1. A Tale OF Two Sons

This started life as a one shot on another site and has now grown to a little story of 7 chapters. John and the problems of dealing with two teenage sons and their feelings.

Sam outs Dean's first love to John. Brief mention of underage sex.

Little Brothers, First Love and Sons

John almost got bowled over by his youngest son as he threw the door to the motel room open and tore into the room, his brother in hot pursuit behind him. Sam managed to neatly side step John and locked himself in the bathroom as Dean screeched to a halt before the now glowering figure.

"You boys got that much energy then I got plenty of chores that you can do. Where's the fire and what's going on?" His question was aimed at Dean.

Sam's head popped out of the bathroom door. "Dean's in lur…….ve." His giggle died as his brother tried to get round John and get to him.

"Why you little…" Sam slammed the door again as Dean's forward motion was halted by John's rough hand.

"SAM! Get out here now."

The door opened and Sam was faced by the angry expressions of both his father and brother. Dean made a 'your dead' sign that he hoped his father wouldn't catch. He really should have known better.

"Dean Winchester you better not be making threats at your brother you think I can't see."

Dean dropped his hands to his sides and sighed. "No sir."

"He's lying dad he was." Sam stuck his tongue out.

"Enough. Dean, want to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing, sir. Just blowing off some steam is all."

Sam was bouncing now in front of them and Dean knew he was just itching to spill.

"Sam?" Sam smiled a victorious smile at Dean. "Dean was with a girl down at the river, Mary Henderson……..they were making out. We saw them. Dean's in love."

Sam folded his arms across his chest and made smoochy faces at his brother. John felt Dean tense under his hand and tightened his grip.

"Dean is that true."

"We were talking, that's all." Dean tried to convey just how much hurt he was going to put his brother in by his facial expression alone but Sam was having way too much fun for that. Dean had picked on him unmercifully for two days after he caught him holding hands with Angela Daniels, this was payback time.

"Dean had his hand up her blouse and how can she talk with your tongue down her throat?" Sam triumphant smile froze on his lips at the look on his brother's face.

That was it, John lost his grip on Dean as he flung himself at his brother, lifting him off his feet and throwing him onto the bed. He pinned Sam. The roar from their dad stopped them both in their tracks.

"Boys, sit NOW!"

Both siblings got up and sat on the edge of the bed. John noticed that Dean wouldn't look at him and that he had a death grip on Sam's hand, which Sam was skilfully trying to pretend didn't hurt. "Dean!" He let go.

"So" He stepped forward to his eldest son's feet. "You and this….." He looked to Sam for help. "Mary Henderson" Sam piped up helpfully. "Thank you. You and this Mary Henderson, what exactly were you doing? And look at me when you answer."

Dean slowly brought his head up and John could see how flushed Dean's cheeks were. "We were talking and I kissed her. No big deal Sam, it's not like you haven't caught me kissing a girl before." Dean's light tone was forced.

"Is she a girl from school Dean?" Dean went to answer when his helpful little brother piped up again.

"No, she works in the garage with Dean, in the office. Dean's goes her house after work that's why he's always late home." Sam smiled a smug smile at his brother. "And she's old."

That stopped John in his tracks. "How old?"

"Dean makes out with Mary Henderson a lot. He loves her." Sam elbowed his brother for effect , Dean just sat there but John could see the thinly veiled murderous look he shot is brother.

"I asked how old?" His sixteen year old son glared at his brother and then looked up at his father.

"She's twenty two."

"Bit of an age gap there Dean."

John's brain was racing, if what Sam had said was true then Dean had been lying to him for over five weeks. Dean had never got passed more than three dates with any girl and he was lying to John about it. This did not bode well.

"Yes sir." Dean fists were balled tightly at his sides, the tension in him almost a living thing.

"Sam, outside." John saw his youngest going to protest.

"OUT!"

Sam went.

John sat down on the bed beside Dean. "So want to tell me what's going on? How serious it is with this woman, you sleeping with her?"

Dean turned his head and looked at his father, his face red but his eyes blank, hiding his thoughts and feelings from him. "That…….is none of your damned business." Dean stood up and headed for the door.

John lost his voice for a moment stunned by the unusual show of disrespect from his eldest son. "Ok, don't talk to me but you walk out that door without answering me and we are out of here…tonight."

Dean turned and John thought he caught panic as it flitted through Dean's eyes. "But the hunt?"

"Damn the hunt, I want to know what's going on Dean."

John watched his son drop his head and stand there fidgeting with his hands.

"Dean?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

Dean looked up at him. "Yes." John just stared. Dean sighed. "I'm…we're sleeping together ok, happy now."

"No, not really. Are you taking precautions?"

Dean looked his father aghast. "Of course, I'm not stupid you know and beside it not like it's the first time I've………" Dean stopped as he realised he was probably giving his dad more information than he actually needed.

"Really." John stood and walked over to stand next to his son. "So how many others have there been then Dean?"

"Four." Dean changed tact, opting for honesty; knowing that if he lied his father would probably trip him up.

John didn't need a calculator to know that his son would have been underage when these little liaisons had taken place. Hell he was barely sixteen now.

"How old were you the first time?"

Dean swallowed hard. "Fourteen."

"Dean!" John had been twenty and it had been Mary. He wasn't quite sure what to say.

"She was older and I lied, I told her I was sixteen."

"How old was she?" John thought that Dean could easily pass for older, he was tall and well built, more of a man than the boy he should be. John tried not to think how much of that was his fault.

"Eighteen."

John sighed and sat back down on the bed and patted the bed next to him. "Sit." Dean obeyed. He grinned over at Dean. "Guess my birds and bees talks two years too late then."

"Guess so." Dean smiled sheepishly back at his dad.

"So this Mary Henderson, how do you feel about her?" Damn John thought, she had to be called Mary.

"She's neat." Dean looked up at his dad. John saw that look in Dean's eye and his heart reached out to his son. "I like her a lot."

John smiled at his son, Dean, master of the understatement.

"Define a lot?"

Dean laughed at the look in his dad's eye. "You know….a lot."

And John thought he did.

TBC


	2. Meeting Mary

_Meeting Mary_

_Next little chapter of this, a little back story of Dean and Mary meeting for the first time._

_November – four months earlier_

_Mary watched as the new guy that had just started was introduced to Charlie, the resident 'I've been here since Jesus was a baby' mechanic. If the view of the muscles on his arms and the nice ass hadn't decide her that he was worth checking out, the fact that he had just got Charlie to laugh was. Charlie never laughed, didn't approve of frivolity, yet here he was not a half hour after meeting the guy, laughing with him and slapping him on that rather nicely shaped back. She moved over to get a better look at his face and felt her stomach do a little flip as her blue eyes locked with his green ones as he turned briefly, caught her eye and smiled at her. She smiled back not missing the little flick he did with his eyes as he checked her out. _

_It was five o'clock and she should be going home by now but there were still some bills that had to be invoiced and out tonight and besides, now she had something worth looking at as she worked. Things were definitely looking up. She watched as he took in what Charlie was saying to him and then lent into the engine bay of the car and she tried not to tilt her head to get a better view. The jeans slung low on his hips were just at the right level to be sexy and then his t-shirt rose up to expose a bit of skin and she had to force herself to blink. _

_She wiped her mouth, suddenly aware that she was drooling. _

_"Those bills won't write and post themselves you know!" She jumped and turned round to see her boss Andrew trying hard not to grin at her. _

_"I see you noticed that I'd finally hired someone that's your side of fifty…like an introduction?" He placed a hand on her back and pushed her forward. _

_Her faced flushed at the fact that her boss had caught her ogling the new guy's ass. "No it's ok…really." _

_"Come on, I hear he doesn't bite. Dean!" The guy turned at the sound of Andrew's voice. _

_Mary swallowed hard, he had the most beautiful eyes and long lashes that she had ever seen on a man and as for the lips….." _

_Andrew speaking dragged her back from her observations. "This is Mary, she works in our office, has done for the last two years, I'll get her to show you around the place properly tomorrow. Mary.." Andrew turned to her. "…this here is Dean, he's going to work here in the evenings, after school." _

_She looked at him again, taking in the boyish freckles this time and realising that he was younger than she had first thought, something about his eyes and the way he was built just made her think, when she looked at him, that he was older. _

_"Hi, nice to meet you." He smiled a small, shy smile and she could have sworn that a little jolt of electricity passed between them when he held out his hand and she shook it. _

_"Likewise." She drew her hand back as quickly as she could without seeming rude. Her action changed his smile to a grin and that's when she know he'd felt it too…that little spark of something between them. _

_"So, do you think you're gonna like it here Dean?" Andrew was asking but Dean was still looking at her. _

_"It's looking good so far." He tore his eyes away and smiled at Andrew. _

_Mary pointed behind her. "It'd better get back…to the office…bills and everything." _

_"I'll maybe speak to you later then." _

_She stepped back into her sanctuary, put a little distance between them. "Yeah, later."_

_---_

_She was packing up an hour later and had walked into the little staff area to wash her cup when she realised that Dean was washing grease off his hands there. He had taken his dirty t-shirt off and the fresh one he was about to change into was lying on one of the tables. Mary walked up to the sink thinking that either God hated her or he loved her a little too much. She slid past him, wanting to touch but trying not too and deposited her cup in the sink he was standing in front of. She tried really hard not to watch as he pulled the clean t-shirt on and slid the material down his toned chest. He turned and she found that she had somehow managed to trap herself between him and the wall. _

_"Hey. You work late, don't you?" _

_She breathed out as he walked away and sat down at one of the tables. "Only sometimes, end of the month's always busy and Elaine is off, so I'm picking up the slack." She lent against the sink. "So are you from around here?" _

_He shook his head. "No. We travel a lot, from Kansas originally though. My Dad's got a job here." _

_"Andrew said you're still at school? Which one?" _

_"Hillman High." _

_"I used to go there, it's not a bad place…teachers are nice." _

_"I'll take your word for it. So when did you leave?" _

_She knew that he was trying to gauge how old she was. "Four years ago." _

_"So you're like…old then?" He grinned at her cheekily. _

_"And you're still a kid." She grinned back. _

_"I'm sixteen." The lie slipped easily from his mouth. He was less than three months short of his sixteenth birthday but she didn't need to know that. "And I am not a kid." _

_He walked over to her, leaning round her to get a cup, up close, almost pressed against her. Taking a cup from the sink he rinsed it and filled it with water. She watched as he stepped back and tilted his head to down the water almost in one. _

_Sixteen but definitely not a kid her head agreed with him. _

_"So do you live nearby?" Dean stepped away and picked up the dirty t-shirt from the table. _

_"Like I'm gonna tell you…you could be a serial killer for all I know." _

_He laughed. "I could be at that." With that he walked through to the little locker room. _

_---_

_She grabbed her jacket, locked her office and stuck her head round the door of Andrew's office. "That's me off." _

_He raised his head. "See you tomorrow then Mary, have a good one." _

_Waving goodbye she walked out and headed for home._

_ She had gone less than a mile when she realised that Dean was trailing behind her. "You following me?" Mary put her hands on her hips and scowled at him. _

_"Just admiring the view on my way home…I live this way too you know. Why would I be following you anyway?" _

_"I walking in front of you, you're walking behind me…technically…that's following!" _

_He laughed and she wanted to ask him to do it again, she thought it was the sexiest sound that she had ever heard. She kicked the thought away. "So where do you live then?" _

_He looked at his hands, embarrassment flooding his face and strangely making him even more adorable to her. "We're staying at the Avenue Motel. Do you know it?" His face told her he hoped that she didn't. _

_"Oh my God, you poor soul, my Dad made us stay there when he decided to build his own house. We were there for a year on and off." _

_"Ouch. We've been there two weeks and I hate it, I couldn't imagine staying there for a whole year." _

_She grabbed his arm as they walked and talked. "Do the pipes still rattle at five in the morning?" _

_He rolled his eyes. "_**_Every_**_ morning. It's driving my crazy." _

_They both laughed and Mary slipped her arm further into his. "So is it just you and your Dad?" _

_"No, I've got a brother, younger than me. What about you? Any siblings from Hell?" _

_She went quiet for a minute. "No there's just me." _

_He realised that there was an extra meaning behind the statement. "Where are your parents?" _

_She looked down and he wished he hadn't asked. "My parents are dead." _

_"I'm sorry. My mother is too." _

_"It's ok, it was a couple of years ago, a car wreck. What about your mom?" _

_"She died in a fire. I was four." _

_"Oh." They walked on in silence for a while until Mary broke it. "So…why did you pick the garage to work in?" _

_"My Dad's a mechanic to trade, he taught me about cars, I enjoy it and I'm good at it." He paused. "Besides we could do with the money." _

_Mary knew that no one really would stay in the Avenue motel if they had a choice. Her Dad had almost bankrupted himself building the house, that was why they had stayed there. _

_She changed the subject. "Andrew's a great boss, you'll like it at the garage." _

_"I like it already." He smiled at her and she felt her whole inside light up. "I appreciated him giving me the chance." _

_"He's a sucker for lost causes, that's how he ended up with me." _

_"Thanks for that." _

_"You're welcome." She stopped and pointed to the house they were outside. "Well this is me." _

_Dean stared up at the house. "God, this is beautiful. Your Dad built this himself?" _

_She beamed at him. "Yeah, it was a real labour of love. It took him nearly four years to get it just how he wanted it…of course we kept running out of money, which didn't help." _

_"It's a nice memorial to him then." He was so serious as he spoke and she thought at that moment he was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. _

_"I never thought of it like that before, it's always just been home for me, but your right, I suppose it is his memorial." She stepped back to look at the house and tripped over his foot, his hands coming up automatically to her waist to stop her falling. She turned in them and he lowered his head to her, took his hands and moved them up to her face, cupping it gently and stealing a kiss from her. _

_She stepped back. "What was that for?" _

_"Payment…for standing on my foot." The little cheeky grin made a fleeting appearance on his face and she laughed and then stilled. _

_Mary smiled and stepped on his foot again. _

_Dean leaned in close. "So…it's war then?" _

_"I think maybe it is." _

_He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in hard against him, covering her mouth with his, his lips a gentle caress across hers until she responded and then he deepened it. She felt his hands slip under her shirt and she hissed at the coldness of them against her warn skin but she didn't want him to take them away, she want him to let them explore further. He read her mind. She only stopped him when he cupped her breasts in them through her bra. _

_"Dean. Don't." She couldn't believe how much she could want someone she had really only just met, but at least she knew that the feeling was mutual. If she had let him in she didn't think that this would have been just a one night stand, there was something there, she just wasn't ready to explore it so quickly. That's not who she was…heck this wasn't even who she was. _

_"Sorry." He left a little trail of kisses along her neck and then he let her go. _

_"Do you always try to seduce strange woman the first time you met them?" _

_"Not always." _

_"Not your first time round the block though?" _

_He knew what she was trying to ask. "No, I've been around the block a couple of times before." He blushed as he said it. _

_"So, when did you say you turned sixteen?" _

_"I didn't." _

_She stopped him there. "Really? You're not sixteen?" She took a step back. _

_"August." He said the first month that came into his head. _

_"Fast worker then to get round that block a few times in three months. Love 'em and leave 'em type of guy eh?" _

_"Maybe." He lent in and captured her lips again, revelling in the thrill that ran through him. "Maybe not." _

_She pulled away. "I need to go." She walked down her path and stopped at the steps. "So I guess that I'll see you tomorrow then." _

_"God I hope so." _

_She laughed lightly at his answer. "Night Dean." _

_"G'night Mary." She walked inside and resisted the urge to squeal with excitement. _

_Dean walked off whistling softly to himself. Suddenly this town and the crappy motel didn't seem to be so bad after all. _


	3. Bearer Of Bad News

Moving forward in time again, John has to visit the garage with some bad news for his son and a little surprise as well. This story is about to take a little turn in direction.

Thanks for the reviews and all the alerts!

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Bearer of Bad News

_February_

John was walking towards the garage when he saw them.

His son was standing leaning against an old Ford pick up, side on to John, and his face was lit up as if he was staring directly into the sun. John had almost forgotten what it looked like to see Dean smile like that, a warm, genuine smile that went all the way up to those highly expressive green eyes. His whole face was lit with pleasure.

He was standing talking to a pretty girl, petite built with long straight black hair, full lips and piercing blue eyes, eyes which at the moment were gazing loving into his son's own. She was standing facing towards John, her hip resting casually again Dean's, almost as if they were joined. Dean lent in and said something to her and her smiled deepened, then he lent across and gently ran his hand through her hair, pushing it back as he stole a kiss from her. She giggled, obviously made some comment about his hands which were covered in car oil, and pushed him playfully away but John noted how her hand stayed against Dean's chest just for a moment longer than necessary, keeping contact for as long as possible before she lifted it and cupped Dean's head in both her hands, gently kissing him again and then turning to walk away, letting her hand trail down his arm to his hand, holding it briefly before tearing it away from his grip and then walking away, back to the office. Dean never took his eyes from her the whole time.

The moment made John smile and then sadness filled him. His son had finally found someone that cared for him and that he obviously care for too and John was here to tell him that they were leaving. _Again._ The hunt was over, John had finally nailed the ghosts that had been causing all the trouble, and they could go now, back to the hunt for the thing that killed his own love, his Mary.

Fear struck John just for a moment, a fear that this time Dean wouldn't just follow him blindly, that his devotion to his family would be overruled by a much more basic need. The need to love and be loved, just for being you. John's thoughts drifted back to Mary, yeah he know how that felt alright. He smiled and was still lost in thought when he realised that Dean had turned to go back to work and he was now staring at John, his own smile having faded.

_God he know what I'm here for._

Composing himself he walked across the street and approached his son.

"Spying on me there pops?"

John laughed at the unusual way that his son had addressed him.

"Pops?" John raised an eyebrow at Dean.

"Sorry just slipped out." Dean grinned at him quickly and then his face grew serious.

"What's up?" A thought crossed Dean's mind. "Is Sam alright?"

"He's fine. I was just finishing up things at the Anderson place thought I'd stop by and say hi on the way passed."

"So the job's finished then." It was a statement not a question. John watched as the last of the happiness drained out of his son as if someone had opened a tap. Dean's face became almost unreadable except for the pained look that he wasn't able to quite hide in his eyes.

"Is everything ok?"

They both turned to stare at the woman that had walked up quietly behind them. John watched his son recover quickly, affection filling the smile that he shot at his girl.

"Mary." Dean stepped forward and put an almost protective arm round her. "This is my dad, John Winchester."

"Pleased to meet you. I'd like to say that I've heard a lot about you but you know my son." John smiled an easy smile at her. _Damn she's pretty, Dean. _

"That I do sir." She smiled at Dean. "Well as much as Dean'll let me. Quite the quiet man you're son, think that's one of the things I love about him." She turned and stole a quick kiss, making Dean blush.

John laughed. "Anyway I'd better go before Sam gets back from school and wrecks the room." He looked at Dean. "I just want to let you know, give you some time." He glanced at Mary.

Dean nodded.

He knew what his father meant by time, time to say goodbye.

John had turned back to Dean's girl. "It was nice to finally meet you." He shook Mary's hand. "You too."

"What time'll you be home then Dean?" He gave a sly smile and he was grateful for the small laugh that escaped Dean.

"About six." He looked at Mary. "I've a few things I'd like to get finished before I come home."

"I'll hold dinner then." He turned to walk away when a thought hit him. "Say why don't you bring Mary with you?"

Dean gave John a horrified look.

"Really?"

"I'd love that." She grabbed Dean's arm and laughed as his face. "What, are you ashamed of me?" Dean looked at her and thought that he'd never be ashamed of the beautiful woman that was holding his hand, his dad on the other hand…..well John's table manner wasn't great. He sidestepped that issue.

"You've met my brother remember, the little guy that's almost taller than me, irritates the hell out of people? You do realise that you'll be locked in a room with him for more than an hour?"

"Yeah but I'll have you to protect me." She slid her arm round Dean's waist and caused the redness to creep into his face as she whispered something in his ear.

"Ok, you win, when do you want us there?" He silently pleaded with his dad to make it later, desperately wanting to be alone with Mary before hand. John looked at Dean.

"What say we hold until seven then, let you get time to finish up and get cleaned up Dean?" The smile he got confirmed that he had read his son's face right.

"Seven's good, see you then." Dean turned to the truck as his dad walked away and wanted to bang his head off it. The job was finished, they'd be leaving, and for once Dean didn't want to go. This was the longest they'd stayed anywhere for a while and Sam was settled in school, he'd loved working in the garage in the evenings after school and he'd met Mary. He ran the back of his hand across his nose.

"You ok?"

He'd almost forgotten she was there, she was looking at him with concern in her eyes, sensing that something was off, just not knowing what.

"Yeah, I'm good. So dinner with my family eh? We could just skip town now you know?" He pulled her close, suddenly liking that idea. "We could you know, just get in the car and go? What'd you think?" He was half-serious; in fact, if she had said yes he might just have left that minute before his resolve weakened.

She laughed at him and punched his shoulder.

"Don't think the boss would take too kindly to that. He'd probably come and hunt us down."

Dean frowned; she was probably right on that one, just not the boss she was talking or thinking about. "Better get this finished up then."

"You need some place to get showered and changed?"

"Maybe, is that an offer?"

"Bet you sweet life it is!" She giggled and stepped away. "Sooner you finish that the longer you'll get in the shower." She raised her eyebrows at him, winked, and then walked away.

Dean finished the work on the car in record time.


	4. Dinner

So dinner with the Winchesters? John has a surprise in store for Dean at the end of this.

Thanks for the reviews, I will update my replies tomorrow, RL is killing my PC time at the moment!

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Dinner

Dean stretched lazily and smiled as he felt Mary's hand gently ghost across his chest. "Think I need another shower." He pulled her to him and kissed her softly.

"Mmm. And I think we need to move or we're going to be late for dinner." She pushed him off and tried to get up but he pulled her back.

"Just a little while longer…five minutes. Please?" He snuggled his head against her and let his hands wander.

"Ok." She giggled slightly as he touched a sensitive bit. "None of that mind or we're are so not getting out of here on time."

---

Dean and Mary hadn't even got across the car park before Sam had the door opened. "You're late. What kept you?"

Dean grinned at his brother. "Took too long in the shower."

Mary laughed and punched him gently. "Dean!"

Sam watched the small exchange between them and frowned. "What? I was dirty…needed a good scrub." His look of pure innocence made her laugh and punch him again.

Sam eyed his brother sensing he was somehow missing the joke. He decided to get his own back with the embarrassment factor. "Were you two having sex…again?" Sam's tone was straight forward and he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes theatrically.

Mary flushed and Dean choked on a laugh.

"Sam Winchester!" Sam flinched at his father's roar from the apartment. "What have I told you about thinking what you're asking before you ask it?"

Sam scowled. "I was only asking." He walked back into the apartment and was met with John's steely stare.

"Well don't, ok?" John turned to Dean. "And don't you even think about answering him." Dean gave his father a 'who-me?' look and pulled out a chair for Mary to sit on at what, for his father, was a rather impressively set table.

He walked by Sam and whispered 'lots' in his brother's ear causing Sam to choke this time. Dean sauntered over to the kitchen area and nosed in the pots. "Christ dad, did you cook this yourself?"

John slapped him. "Yes and if you ask me what it is…_you're_ not getting any."

"No, smells great." Dean stuck a spoon in and stole a bit. "It's edible too."

John glowered at him. "Stop showing off and get the damn plates."

Dean wordlessly collected the plates and put them out on the table.

John turned to Mary and smiled. "D'you want something to drink? There's wine or beer?" He watched Dean raise his eyebrows at the fact that his father had gone out and bought wine. "Beer's fine Mr Winchester, thanks."

Dean walked over to the fridge and collect three bottles and can of soda for Sam.

"It's John." He almost laughed as Dean raised his eyebrows again on the way back to the table, exchanging a look with his brother as they both mouthed 'It's John' to each other.

Sam saw an opportunity to get at his brother as he passed him with the bottles in his hand. "You're not old enough to drink beer." He took his soda from his brother. Dean scowled at him and clunked him on the back of the head with his own bottle on the way by. "Ow. Jerk"

"Ooops sorry." He sat down and messed Sam's hair earning a 'gerroffme'.

John turned unable to resist it. "He's right you know." The look on Dean's face was priceless and John had to try really hard not to laugh. He winked at Mary "Well maybe this once eh?" He smiled as she joined in the laughter.

Dean wasn't amused though. "Have I told you that I hate you, _John_?" He opened the beer and drank some just in case his father decided to take offence.

"Frequently." John turned back to finishing the meal. "And to you…it's dad."

----

The meal was a stew that his Mary had shown John how to make a lifetime ago and he decided that he must have remembered it fairly well because it was eaten in a mostly companionable silence.

_Mostly_ because Sam didn't do silent.

"So." He pounced on Mary as he swallowed a mouthful of stew. "What are your intentions with my brother?"

John choked, Mary laughed and Dean threw a roll at him.

"Sam!" John and Dean spoke at the same time, a different warning clear in each of their tones.

Mary just smiled and lent in. "If I told you that I'd make him and you blush."

John laughed this time as she did just that, both his son's faces turning red. "You deserved that Sam." He winked at Mary, something about her making him feel more relaxed and yet more tense than he had in a long time. "Fair question though. What are your intentions with my son?"

Dean had missed the wink still busy glaring at his brother. He swung to look at his dad and was met with the best poker face his father could muster. "Dad!"

"All good Mr Win…John, believe me." She smiled at Dean and gave him a little kiss on the lips. "It's all good."

Dean grinned and Sam groaned. "Get a room already."

"Sam." John looked over at him and Sam grew quiet.

"So." Mary broke the tension. "Dean tells me that you're a mechanic to trade, must of rubbed off on your son 'cos the boss raves about him. Do you work in a garage nearby?"

"The boss raves about me?" Dean raised his eyebrows and looked at her. "You never told me that."

"That's 'cos I didn't want you get too big headed."

"Too late for that." Sam muttered round a mouthful of food, smiling childishly at his big brother. Dean raised a finger.

"I'm I gonna have to separate you two?" John glared at them both.

"No sir." Both boys answered in unison. He answered Mary's question.

"I'm helping a friend out with a problem at their house at the moment, I haven't done garage work for a few years but Dean's good, he keeps the Impala on the road." John smiled as he watched Dean soaked in the praise. "So Mary, are your parents from here?" He watched as the question seemed to hang in the air and John realised that he somehow put his foot in it.

Mary faltered for the first time that night, Dean noticed too and took her hand in his, his concern lit his eyes. "Mary's parents are dead, dad…they were killed in car wreck a few years back." He turned to her. "Sorry I shoulda told them." John watched as she gathered herself and then turned to Dean, a look in her eye again that make John happy and want to scream all at the same time.

"It's alright." She turned back to John. "My dad was a carpenter, he built the house that I live in, my mum ran his business for him, did the books and stuff. They had been coming back from celebrating an anniversary…the tyre blew…they hit a tree." John reached over and took her hand.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to loose someone you love in an…accident." He paused over the last word. Mary wiped at her face and smiled at him.

John told Mary a few story of their life on the road, embarrassing Dean on purpose with a few of them to lighten the mood and much to the delight of his brother. Dean and John were about to chalk the evening down as a success when Sam killed the conversation with a single, simple question. "So when are we leaving?"

John looked at Sam and managed to catch the horrified look on Dean's face at the same time.

"You're leaving?" Mary put her cutlery down on the plate and turned to stare at Dean.

"You didn't know?" Sam looked between his brother and his father realising that he'd just caught an even more fatal dose of the Winchester foot in mouth disease than his father had shown symptoms of. Dean was going to kill him, of that he had no doubt. He avoided his brother's glare.

Mary turned to him, her smile now more forced than sweet. "No, Sam…I didn't."

John watched as she pulled away from Dean and stood. John tried to rescue his eldest son. "I haven't made up my mind yet what we're doing." He glared at Sam to keep quiet. "Normally when I finish a job we move on somewhere else, I have to go where the work is and the boys come with me. I'm still looking to see if there's any other work in this area before I decide what we're doing. Dean and Sam are both settled here, it seems a shame to move again so soon."

"It does?" John sighed as both the boys spoke in unison. He'd expected Sam to comment but Dean….he rolled his eyes at him. Dean smiled back sheepish and recovered. "It does, you're right dad." Sam went to speak again and Dean kicked him hard under the table.

Dean suddenly seemed to realise that Mary was still standing, watching the exchange. He stood and pulled her to him and after an initial resistance she lent into him. "I'll explain, just don't go, please?" He whispered it softly into her ear before gently kissing her cheek. John watched as she relaxed a little further in his arms and then sighed and sat back down.

"Why don't we get the dessert?" Dean grabbed Sam by the collar and dragged him to the fridge. John watched the boys rather heated, but quiet, discussion over fetching the pie.

He gathered up the plates and stood. "I'd better go referee."

"That's what you were telling him at the garage wasn't it? When I walked up? That's why he looked so sad." Mary was looking at her hands not able to bring herself to look up at John. He sat back down with a sigh.

"Yeah, Dean didn't know that we were moving on, I had only just told him before you walked up."

"He knew that you'd be moving as some point though right? So why did he…why didn't he tell me? Why did he make me feel like we had something here? "

John reached across and took her hand. "I don't like the boys telling people our plans, where we're going …and I don't…I don't think it's just you that feels that way."

He saw her stiffen. "I didn't realise that I was just people to Dean." She looked at her watch. John recognised the fight or flight response in her posture.

"I don't think you are." He paused and looked at his sons still talking in the small kitchen. "He doesn't normally get close to anyone when we stop for awhile. Hell I can't every remember him getting past a second date never mind a second week."

He smiled as she chose fight. "We've been seeing each other a lot longer than that." Mary tried to figure out the quick glimpses of emotion on the face of the man in front of her, she recognised the last one. Fear. "I love your son." She said it quietly. "You don't want him to stay…if you move on?"

John realised that Dean was watching him but trying to look like he wasn't, bossing his brother about. "No. I don't. I want him with me when we go. I need him with me….Sam…."

She nodded "I get it. What if that's not what Dean wants?"

"I don't know, it's never come up before."

"What are you guys talking about?" Dean walked over and placed the plates on the table, taking the dirty dishes from his dad and passing them to Sam. He crossed his arms and scowled at his father.

"You." Mary smiled at him and pulled him into the seat beside her.

"So that's why my ears are burning!"

"You're ok…it's the left one." She squeezed his hand softly making him grin at her and then they started to eat.

Sam sat with his head down the whole time, playing with the food in front of him scared to speak for once in case he said something else he shouldn't. John resisted the urge to laugh at his youngest son and did his best to keep the conversation light and flowing between himself and Mary, not missing the grateful look Dean threw him for the effort.

Mary waited until they had all finished and then asked Dean would he walk her home.

"Dean, here." John threw the keys to the Impala across the table. "Why don't you run Mary home."

Dean grinned at him. "Really?"

John nodded. "Really. Not a scratch mind."

Dean took Mary's hand and started towards the door. "Thanks Dad."

Mary stopped and turned back for a moment. "It's been real nice meeting you John, thank you for dinner." She took his hand and then pulled him in and kissed his cheek. John blushed but was saved as she had already turned to Sam. "Bye Sam." She stepped over and gave him a hug. "Don't feel bad." She whispered it quietly to him. "I'd have had to know sooner or later." Sam gave her a grateful smile.

Once they had gone outside John started to clear up. He stopped Sam as he tried to help. "Bed. I'll get this."

"But…." Sam started to protest but he stopped when he saw the look in his Dad's eyes. He shrugged and headed for the room him and Dean shared to gather his night clothes and toothbrush. "G'night."

"Night Sam." John waited until Sam had come back out and closed the bathroom door and then he sat down with a sigh.

He looked up from his thoughts when the cold draught reached him. Dean walked back over and stood in front of him. "Is it ok if I bring the car back tomorrow? Mary wants me to stay with her tonight."

John nodded. "Yeah, as long as you bring it back in the morning."

"I will." Dean turned to go but John stopped him with a hand.

"Sit a minute."

Dean slid the seat out next to his father and sat down.

John's face was serious as he spoke to his eldest son. "You really do like her don't you?"

Dean blushed and looked down at his hands not quite knowing how to answer. He chose simplicity. "Yeah."

John heard the little break in Dean's voice…he knew that Dean was ripped right down the middle on this. If John ordered him to Dean would come with them, John didn't doubt that for a second, and that was what John wanted to do…but something in him was stopping him.

He kept thinking of his Mary…of what he'd had and of what he'd lost. The words that came from his mouth surprised even him. "If you want to stay I'll need to know by Monday."He stood and pushed his chair back. Dean just sat there opened-mouthed.

John looked down at him. "Dean?"

"You'd let me stay?" Dean looked at him like he had just made some sort of joke that Dean didn't get.

John hated that there was so much shock in his son's voice. He hated that the fact his dad might just want him to be happy shocked him so much. John hated that it shocked himself that much too.

Although he had no idea how he would cope without him he was prepared to let Dean make this choice his own. He touched Dean's shoulder. "I don't want you to stay…I want you to come with us but it needs to be your decision Dean…your choice." _I don't want you to end up hating me over this. _

He bent quickly and kissed the top of Dean's head. "I'm going to bed, I'll speak to you in the morning…now go, your girlfriend's waiting."

John turned his back on a stunned Dean and walked across to his bed which was at the back of the room, neither of them noticing Sam standing in the shadows of the bathroom door.

Sam slunk back out of sight when his brother stood and left, then he ran over quietly into the bedroom and flung himself on his bed, curling up tightly and sobbing quietly into his pillow.


	5. Sometimes a choice isn't a choice at

John has been really nice to Dean since he found out about Mary but that maybe about to change. Sometimes knowing what you are can't stop you from being it, eh John?

John and Sam have a talk and so do Mary and Dean.

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Sometimes a choice..... isn't a choice at all

It was as John listened to the quiet sobs of his younger son that the cold realisation of what he had agreed to crept over him and with it came an idea that was so simple that it repulsed him.

Still…he let it form.

He tried hard to push the thought in his head away, but he couldn't, so he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He stood for a long time staring at himself in the mirror not liking the man that was staring back out at him or the thing that he was thinking about doing. "You really are a bastard sometimes John Winchester…but this….this is low, even for you." He wet his face, wiped it on the towel and then walked out and into the room that his sons shared.

John didn't want Dean to stay behind, no matter what he had said to his son earlier. He knew from the look in his eldest's eyes that he would seriously consider his offer, all it would take is the right word from the sweet lips of his girlfriend and Dean could be lost to him.

John couldn't let that happen.

Dean and Sam were all he had left.

He knew he could force Dean to come with them even though his eldest would hate him for it, but if he let Dean stay, then his youngest may never forgive him for it.

John was damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

There was one weapon in John's arsenal though that was more powerful than anything that Mary had, one that he could use to make Dean leave with them, no matter what he really wanted to do. One that wouldn't leave his son hating him. Dean had a weakness and John was going to exploit it, just like any good hunter would.

He sat down on the edge of the bed that his youngest son was curled on and took a deep breath.

John gently stroked Sam's hair and pulled him to him. Sam resisted at first and then relaxed with a sob into his father's arms. "Hey kiddo, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" He marvelled at how normal his voice sounded when there was a war raging in his head.

Sam didn't look up. "I heard you tell Dean he could stay. He won't will he? He wouldn't leave us?" Sam's voice was broken from his tears and John thought that he sounded a lot younger than his twelve years.

"I don't know Sam, he likes Mary an awful lot, you know that. If she asks him to he may want to."

Sam rolled round and up, kneeling on the bed in front of his father, panic on his face. "He can't stay! If you ordered him to, he'd come with us. You have to dad. Dean always obeys your orders….even when he doesn't want to."

John tried not to show how much that little last comment stung, schooling his features to give nothing away. "Come on now Sam, if I order your brother to come with us, it would just make him mad at me and want to stay more. We need to do this the right way kiddo. We need to make Dean want to come with us more than he wants to stay with Mary."

Sam wiped his face and looked up. "Could we do that? Make Dean want to come with us?" Innocence and hope shone from his son's face and John felt his gut twist.

This was it.

A cry in his head of 'don't do this' was drowned by the thought of 'I have to'.

So he did.

He used his ace in the hole.

"Why don't you ask him Sammy? Tell your brother how much you'll miss him if he leaves, how sad it would made you feel. He'll listen to you." John looked down at his hands unable to keep eye contact with his youngest son any longer. "Tell him how much you love him Sammy. If you do that ….he'll stay."

"Really?" There was hope in Sam's voice.

John pulled Sam back down into the bed and settled him under the covers. "Really. Now get some sleep."

He watched as Sam gave him a trusting smile and closed his eyes.

John walked out and picked up the whisky bottle from the counter, opened it and downed a quarter of it in one go. His stomach rebelled the moment the liquid touched it and he just made the bathroom as it and the remains of his earlier meal made their break for freedom. He knelt there until the spasms subsided and then slowly pulled himself up and went back to bed.

Sleep was a long time coming.

---

Dean rolled over gently and untangled himself from Mary's arms, freezing as she mumbled something unintelligible and then curled up in a ball on the warm space that he'd just vacated.

"Not getting back in there then, I'm I?" He couldn't resist leaning over and lightly brushing his lips to her forehead, trying hard to ignore the tingling feeling that flowed through him even at this littlest of touches. Three little words formed in his head but he stepped back before he could put a voice to them.

Grabbing his underwear and his jeans he quickly pulled them on and padded barefoot and shirtless down the stairs to the kitchen. He almost inhaled the first cup of coffee, finishing every drop with a satisfied sigh and then poured another and went outside and sat on the little wall in the garden and stared back at the house.

He was filled with a sudden rush of want.

He only vaguely remembered his life before the fire but he remembered the feeling of coming home, of being settled and content. The feeling of belonging. The feeling that was rising up in him even as he sat here.

This house held something inside it that he had never had within his reach before. The promise of a normal life and someone to share it with.

He wanted so badly to accept its offer.

It was only when the back door slammed shut that he realised that Mary was on her way across the grass to him, his shirt in her hand.

"Here." She lent down and kissed him. "It's cold out here, put this on before you freeze. God your feet are bare as well. You better not get sick on me."

He smiled at her as she held out the shirt for him to slip on, taking the chance to wrap his arms around her as she pulled it up over his shoulders, pulling her onto his lap. She giggled and tried to push him off.

"What are you doing out here so early anyway?" She lent her head on his shoulder and he tightened his arms round her and pulled her to him. "I missed you when I woke up."

"It lovely here, so peaceful and quiet. I wish I could just stay right here on this spot forever."

Mary turned her head and looked at him. "You can you know."

"What?"

"Stay. Here. With me." She felt him tense beside her. "What? Don't you want to?"

"No. It's just that….that I do want to, so much. It scares me." He dropped his head and she watched as the long lashes swept his cheeks, his eyes closing briefly. He chewed at his bottom lip and she resisted the urge pull him down to her and kiss his fear away.

"It shouldn't."

"My dad, my brother…they need me." She had never really though of Dean being as young as he was, he was always so confident, so self assured, but at this moment he looked all of his sixteen years and it tore at her heart to see the conflict in his eyes as he turned back to her.

"What do you need Dean?"

"I need it not to be so hard to want something for me." He rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"What's stopping you from getting what you want Dean? Your dad and your brother will survive without you, you know. It's not like you'd never see them again." She pulled back and then kissed him, a long, slow, easy kiss that they both melted into. He sighed as he pulled away.

"I know, it just that it's not safe for Sam out on the road with my dad, the job he does…it's dangerous sometimes and I don't want my brother getting hurt, there's only me to watch out for him when dad's working. He doesn't have anyone else."

She hesitated for a minute and then made the offer, she desperately wanted Dean to say that he'd stay. He'd given her back something that she'd thought she'd lost forever with the death of her parents and she didn't think she could bare to lose it again. Her future. A life with someone to love in it.

"Sam could always stay here, with us?"

She wished he hadn't sounded so shocked by her offer. "Really? You'd let Sam live with here with us? Why?"

It was her turn to feel shocked. "Dean, I love you." She circled her arms round him this time. "I want you to stay. If you need Sam to be with us for that to happen then that's fine. I don't mind."

"I know someone that would." Dean stood. "Dad would never agree to that….not ever. I couldn't ask that of him, he needs us with him. We're all he's got. I'm surprised that he even agreed to let me stay and didn't just drag me out of here."

"So is that your excuse, or your reason, for not staying." She stood and walked by him, head down.

"I didn't say that I wasn't staying." He caught her and spun her to him, tilting her head to his and kissing away her tears. "I want to stay, I really do….I just don't know if I can."

She pulled away again. "I kinda realised that when you said your dad needs _us_."

"Mary…please…." He tried to hold onto her but she wriggled away from his grasp.

"Just go Dean, you need to take the car back to your dad. You can always call me and let me know what you want to do…it's not like _I'm_ going anywhere." She walked back into the house and he waited for a moment before he followed.

Heading upstairs he noted the closed bathroom door as he walked by it into the bedroom and gathered the rest of his things. He stopped outside it on his way back out and rested his head on it. "I love you too." He whispered the words quietly against the wood and then turned and ran down the stairs and out to the car.

He was just sliding into the seat as Mary came out the front door and hurried down the steps. She lent in through the opened window. "I'm sorry, I know that this is hard for you I don't mean to make it worse."

He nodded, afraid to speak in case the turmoil inside him found its way out.

"Will I see you later?"

He just nodded again and then gunned the engine on the car, giving her one last look as she stepped back from the door before he put the car into drive and floored it.

---

John heard the noise of the Impala as it drew up outside and busied himself with the research that was spread out in front of him. He tried not to look up as Dean came in, threw the keys on the table and then headed for the bedroom.

"Where's Sam?" Dean's voice drifted out to him.

"Out. He's studying at a friend's house. I told him he's got until one and then I'd come get him."

"Ok. Do you need the car right now?" John glanced in the direction of the room as his son walked back out, a black t-shirt now in the place of his shirt and his old jeans on.

"No."

"I heard a rattle, was gonna see if I could find it, thought I'd give her a tune up while I was there."

"Sure, if it's not ready I'll walk and get Sam." He closed the book in front of him and brought up the topic that he knew Dean was trying to avoid. "You thought anymore about what we discussed last night?"

"A bit." Dean put his hand on the door, opened it and then stopped. "Mary said that Sam could stay too if he wanted."

"No!" John barked the word, causing Dean to flinch. That option John hadn't foreseen. He calmed himself before he spoke again. "I'm sorry Dean, but Sam's still a minor, he stays with me. No discussion. I'll be bad enough if you want to stay, I won't leave you both behind."

"I didn't think you would." Dean rubbed his head across the back of his neck and stepped out into the sunshine. "I'll tell you my decision tomorrow."

John waited until his son closed the door quietly behind him before he let his head fall to the table.


	6. Two sides to the circle

A little brother moment and a moment with Mary.

Thanks for reading and the reviews.

Little side note – I took the age of consent for this story as 16, although I know that in some states that it is higher, and that Dean is still technically a minor. Bit of a little culture clash as in Scotland you can actually get married at 16 so I hope you forgive me (allow for a little poetic license) and Mary in the story if you think Dean is a little young, we all know that with the way he was brought up he wouldn't often feel or act his age. And love is blind, especially first love!

Two sides to the circle

Dean looked up from the engine bay of the car and watched as his father and Sam walked towards him.

"Hey." He stepped round and lent on the car. "How'd your studying go?"

"Fine." Sam didn't break stride, he just walked past Dean and into the motel room, slamming the door behind him. Dean looked at his dad.

"What's up with him?"

"I don't ask, I don't need to listen to the whining. Can you look after your brother for me for awhile, I want to take a look around Julie's place one last time, make sure that I haven't missed anything."

Dean glanced at his watch as he wiped his hands on the rag that he'd left lying over the wing of the car. "Yeah, sure. I was gonna go out later though. If that's ok?" He added the last bit as an afterthought.

John smiled. "Yeah, I'll only be two or three hours tops."

"Car's almost ready." Dean moved to go back under the hood.

"It's ok, it's a nice day, think I'll walk up, clear my head a bit. I'll call if I need anything or if Julie can't give me a lift back."

Dean stopped. "Well if you're sure. Guess I'll finish this and give the old girl a wash then."

"I'll get Sam to help, he could do with the exercise." John patted his son's shoulder and walked into the room. Two minutes later an annoyed looking Sam stomped out to the car park carrying a bucket of soapy water.

Dean grinned at him. "Well this won't take long, one look at that face and the dirt'll be running for cover."

"Ha, ha." Sam threw the bucket down and slopped the suds over his feet. Huffing he picked up the sponge and started in on the car doors. Dean shut the hood and walked over, fished the other sponge out of the water and started on the roof, deliberately slopping water over his brother.

"Stop that!" Sam flicked his sponge and covered Dean in a line of soap suds.

"What?" Dean dunked the sponge again and without wringing it brought it over Sam's head, letting the water drip all over him on the way by.

"Dean!" Sam tried to keep the smile off his face. He squealed as Dean brought the sponge down and rubbed it in his face. "You are so dead."

Sam dunked his sponge and threw it at his elder sibling, only realising the flaw in his plan when Dean caught it and turned on him. "What'cha gonna do now, squirt? No weapon!"

Sam grinned at him and picked up the bucket.

"Don't you dare!"

Sam ignored the warning and threw its contents at Dean cursing as his brother gracefully dodged to the side and the water landed on the feet and the legs that had appeared behind him.

Sam dropped the bucket and kept his head down. "Some of that water is actually supposed to make it onto the car." John looked down at his feet.

"He started it." Sam pointed accusingly at his brother.

John sighed. "Try not to drown each other before I get back." He pointed at the ground. "I want the mess cleaned up when your done. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

It took them over an hour just to wash the car and Sam had huffed when Dean insisted on giving it an extra rinse even when it was obvious that it was completely soap free.

"I have to treat her nice Sammy, this car…is going to be mine." Dean ran the cloth lovingly over the paintwork to dry it.

"Dad won't let you keep the car." Sam looked over at his brother from his perch on the porch step outside the room door, he'd given up helping twenty minutes ago and was sitting nursing a coke in his hand. "What would we use?" Sam brightened as a thought hit him. "Does this mean that your coming with us?"

Dean turned to Sam confused. "Eh? Sam…what are you talking about?"

"Dad said that you wanted….Mary." Sam's face dropped to a scowl again.

"What did Dad say about me and Mary?" Dean walked over to stand over his brother. He hadn't wanted to say anything to Sam until he knew for sure what he wanted himself.

Sam looked up at him. "No….Mary." He pointed and Dean turned to see his girlfriend walking across the car park towards him.

"Oh."

Sam rolled his eyes and groaned as he watched his brother brush his t-shirt with his hands and then run them through his hair to sort it. "It won't help you know, you still look like shit and you stink."

Dean threw the cloth at him. "Shut up." He manly resisted the urge to sniff his armpits.

"Hey there." Mary walked up and stopped a little bit away from him, nervously fidgeting with the bottom of her hair.

"Hey." Dean closed the gap and rested his hands on her hips, gently pulling her into him. "I was just gonna call you when I'd finished this. My dad had to take off for a bit so I'm kinda stuck here watching the squirt." He motioned to his brother with his head.

"Is it all right if I stay?" She looked up at him and relaxed as he smiled.

"Don't even have to ask. I'm just finishing the car off, do you want something to drink, a beer or a coke?" He pulled her closer, lightly brushing her lips with his, groaning quietly as her body slid against his. She laced her hands behind his neck and pulled him down to her, both of them lost in the kiss, his hands lower now, caressing her lower back under her shirt and then sliding down over her jeans, pulling her hard against him.

Sam huffed as watched them and then his eye fell to the bucket of clean water Dean was using to rinse the car. He had it in is hands before he thought about what he was doing.

Mary squealed as the cold water hit her and Dean turned looking as mad as Sam had ever thought he'd seen him. Trying to make a joke of his moment of madness he grinned at his brother and his shocked girlfriend. "Looking a bit hot and bothered there bro'. Thought you needed to cool down some." The grin slipped when Dean advanced on him and Sam had the fleeting thought that he hoped his death would be quick before he dropped the bucket and ran, almost making the door before Dean caught him and tackled him to the ground. Sam put out his arms to break his fall and then cried out as the doorknob connected with his head.

He went down and stayed down.

Dean had heard the sickening clunk of his brother's head against the metal. He gathered Sam into his arms, his anger quickly forgotten. "Sammy? Sammy? Can you heard me?"

Sam was only stunned but he wasn't stupid enough to show that to his brother. He'd heard the panic in Dean's voice and if he was concerned, then Sam would get away with throwing the water over him and Mary.

The younger Winchester just groaned and fluttered his eyelids.

"Shit." Dean lifted him up and took him through, putting him on his dad's bed. "Mary, get me something to put on this. Some ice in a towel." She went as Dean quietly and gently prodded the small bruise that was appearing on his brother's head. "You feeling sick, dizzy?" Dean prodded Sam. "How many fingers I'm I holding up?"

Sam cranked open one eye. "Two. Sam Winchester. No fixed abode. You're my pain in the head big brother."

"Here." Mary thrust the parcel of ice into Dean's hand. "What was that all about?"

Dean looked up. "He knew I was gonna check he's not concussed, he's being a smart ass which means that he isn't as bad as he's making out to be." Dean placed the towel in Sam's hand and bent his arm to rest it against the bruise.

"You both know how to check for a concussion and what the questions will be…before you're asked? How many times do you guys get hurt?"

Dean was quick with the well practiced excuse. "Sam's accident prone, always hitting his head or bruising something." Dean stood. "Just hold it there for a minute Sam ok?" He grabbed Mary's hand. "Let's get you out of that wet shirt."

"Dean, it hurts, don't leave me." Sam caught his brother's hand.

"I just need to change my shirt Sammy, you soaked us you little horror. I'll only be a minute. Ok?" He ruffled Sam's hair on the good side of his head. "Just a minute."

"Okay." Sam dropped his grip and rolled onto his side.

Dean grabbed Mary's hand and led her into the bedroom. He rummaged in the closet for two fresh shirts.

"Will he be alright? His head made quite a noise connecting with that door." She glanced out at the prone figure in the other room.

"He'll be fine. I'll keep an eye on him to make sure though." Dean shrugged off his shirt and held out one of the clean ones to Mary.

"He's jealous you know. That's why he did that. The water thing."

"I know."

"We need to talk about this, about what you want to do."

He shook his head. "Not here, not in front of Sam…not yet." She took the pro-offered shirt from Dean and started to unbutton her own.

Mary realised that Dean was staring at her and tried to lighten the mood. "Stop perving on me." She turned her back as she slipped the wet shirt off. "It isn't anything you haven't see before."

She shivered as he stood up right behind her and kissed her neck, his arms round her. "I know, but it's the prettiest view and I never tire of it."

She stepped away. "Stop it. Your brother is in the next room."

Dean sighed. "Yeah." He shrugged his own shirt on. "Better go check on him, I want him well before I kill him. Hang your shirt over the radiator, I'll put the heating on to dry it."He turned and stole one last look as he walked out.

Mary walked out behind and then stopped to watch as he fussed over his brother and they shared a quiet joke. She felt a little pang of guilt pass through her. Dean loved his family, that much was clear. He turned and smiled as he realised she was standing there.

"So…d'you want to watch a movie?" Dean walked over and sat down on the couch, patting the seat next to him.

"Yeah. Ok. Which one?" She started to head for the couch but was beaten to the seat by Sam, who decided that he had miraculously recovered.

"I get to pick." He threw himself down hard again his brother, snatched the remote and stared at Mary defiantly.

She shrugged. "Fine with me." She sat next to him and laughed as Dean glowered at his brother.

"Weren't you not well?"

"Feeling better now. Thanks." Sam lifted his feet and rested them on Mary's leg and then, throwing a cushion on Dean's lap put his head down.

Dean mouthed 'sorry' to her.

She mouthed back 'it's ok' and then slapped Sam's legs. "Your feet smell."

She laughed as he scowled. "Do not."

Then they settled down to watch the film.

---

John arrived back later than he'd said he would, he wasn't sure if he'd hung back because he'd want to ensure that Julie's house was entirely ghost free or to delay his eldest from going out.

He swung opened the door to the motel room and stopped to take in the scene before him. Mary was here, but at least Sam was chaperoning her and his brother like a champ. Dean was sitting at one end of the couch and Mary at the other, Sam was curled between them, his head resting on his brother's lap. John smiled until he realised that Sam had an egg shaped lump on his forehead.

Dean looked up, caught the look in his dad's eye and quickly shushed him. "God please, don't wake him up, he's only just fallen asleep and shut up talking." Dean rolled his eyes.

"What happened?" John hissed the words at Dean.

"He tripped, fell into the doorknob. He's fine. No concussion. I already checked."

"He tripped?" John folded his arms. Dean looked down at his brother and then back to his Dad.

"Ok, I was chasing him and he fell…but he threw a bucket of water over us." He motioned to Mary and himself.

John had wondered why Mary was wearing Dean's shirt. "He what? Why?"

Dean and Mary both blushed. "He just did."

Mary wriggled in her seat, trying to free herself from under Sam's legs. "I'd better be going, it's late. We've got work in the morning."

John walked over and lifted Sam off them and carried him through to the bedroom.

"Will you be in work tomorrow?" Mary slid over to him. He knew what she was asking.

"Let's go outside." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "One minute."

He walked through and spoke quietly with his father and then appeared back. "I'll run you home."

She had expected him to talk but they drove all the way to her house in silence.

Mary turned slightly to stare at him as he drove. He was lost in thought, his face giving no clue to the workings of the mind behind it. Her eyes took in as much detail of his face as she could, worry filling her that this was the last time that she get a chance to study him like this. She wanted to reach over and trace the curve of his chin, the strong line of his jaw, watch as those long lashes opened and exposed his beautiful, soulful, green eyes….but most of all she found herself wanting to kiss his lips, so soft and full and loving.

He coughed and broke the moment. "We're here and you're staring at me."

"I love you." She hadn't meant to say it but she couldn't stop herself just as she couldn't stop herself leaning over and fulfilling her wish, closing her lips on his and holding nothing back as she showed him that she meant what she had said.

He broke the kiss and sat silent for a moment.

She braced herself for the bad news. "I can't stay…." She held her breath to fight back the tears, trying not to make this hard for him. "….I have to go home tonight…but I'll see you in the morning."

She blinked at him. "You mean that your going to stay?"

She leaned over and kissed him again. He grew quiet when he broke the kiss.

"Dean? What is it?"

"If I decide to stay, how do I tell them? My dad might understand but Sammy? Sam is gonna hate me if I leave. He might never forgive me." He gripped the steering wheel tight in his hands. "What do I do if something happens to them? If it's my fault 'cos I left?"

"Dean, you can't live your life doing what other people want you to do and if something bad is going to happen to someone you love then you can't always stop it." She sighed and turned his head to look at her. "I can't believe I'm saying this." She took a deep breath. "You know I love you, right?" He nodded. "I really do and that's why if you want to go with your family Dean, I'll understand. I think that you wouldn't be truly happy here without them."

He went to say something but she stopped him.

"Some day, somewhere along the line you'll find someone else that makes you feel the way that I make you feel, but you'll never be able to replace your family Dean, if anyone knows that it's me. I know what they mean to you Dean, I won't make you chose, I love you too much for that. I just want you to be happy and I don't know if you would be here with me if you were worrying where and how they were."

"I really want to stay, I do." He lent into her and she could feel his tears on her cheek. "I just don't know if I can leave them."

"I know." She held him for a little while and then kissed him goodnight. "Whatever you decide Dean, it won't change the way I feel about you, it shouldn't change the way that they do either. I'll see you in the morning Dean…even if it is only to say goodbye."

She briefly kissed him one more time and then got out the car.


	7. Between a rock and a hard place

Dean knows what he wants but will he get it?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Between a rock and a hard place.

Dean sat in the car outside the motel , his head reeling from all the thoughts that were running round inside it.

He wanted to scream.

It wasn't fair.

He wanted to stay, he loved Mary, completely and utterly, but then he loved his father and his brother every bit as much and he wasn't sure that he could pay the price his shot at happiness came with. He was lost, torn between a future and his family, knowing that he couldn't have both but that if he didn't take this chance then he might never get another.

This could be it.

Take it or leave it.

How was he suppose to feel the way he felt about Mary ever again? His own father hadn't managed it, he'd never loved anyone the way that he's love Dean's mother even though Dean knew that there had been others after her.

He looked up in time to see his father walking toward the car. John opened the passenger door and got in. "You ok? You've been sitting out here a while."

Dean shrugged. "No…not really."

John turned to him. "You decided yet what you want to do?"

Dean didn't looked at him, just continued to stare out the windshield.. "I think I...I want to stay."

John reached out and gripped his son's shoulder. "Let's talk it through then. Come on inside."

---

They sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch. "You sure that this is what you want to do?" John noted the pause before Dean nodded. John knew how hard a decision that this must be for his son but he wasn't about to let him just leave without a fight to keep him and beside Dean still hadn't told Sam, if he had then John might have been more worried than he was at the moment.

He started with the practicalities.

"So have you thought about what you're gonna do for money?"

Dean picked at a scar on his hand, the cause of which he'd long forgotten. "No...yeah…I was thinking that I could drop out of school, work full time at the garage."

John had his in. "No. I don't want you to do that Dean and I can't believe that for one minute Mary would want you to do that either."

"She wouldn't." Dean sighed. "I can't stay and not pay my own way though, I won't do that."

"I know, but it would only be a year Dean, two at the most."

Dean's voice rose a little. "No. I don't want my girlfriend paying for me to stay with her, beside if I already have a job what would it matter if I graduate or not."

John drew in a deep breath, steadied himself for first round in the fight he knew was about to come. "It matters. If you aren't finishing school, then I don't want you to stay, I don't think I can let you."

Dean's head shot up. "What? What happened to it being my choice?"

John tried not to light the fire that was smoldering in his son's eyes. "Dean, If you're gonna drop out of school then I'm not gonna let you stay. I can't. I only ever wanted the best for you boys, I still do Dean. You dropping out of school isn't that, it isn't what I want."

"Us fighting monsters isn't what you wanted for us either, it's still what we do. Dad, I scrape by in all my classes 'cos you've always got something for me to do when I get home rather than my assignments. Do research, hunt, watch Sam, fix the car…always, every night. I only got to work in the garage 'cos we needed the money! I'm always getting into trouble and my teachers all think I'm no good. I never get to stay in any school longer than a few months so none of then ever get to see that I'm not lazy or stupid, not that you'd want me to show them that anyway…I always have to just blend in. When did you care that I finish high school anyway?"

John raised his eyebrows at his son's tone but decided not to call him on it. Dean's emotions were running too hot to do that. He reached over and laid his hand down on his son's. "Dean. It's not fair I know that, it doesn't mean that I don't care."

"Your using school as an excuse 'cos deep down you don't want me to stay, deep down you don't want me to be happy." Dean pulled his hand away. "Why don't you just admit it, when you told me I had a choice you never thought for a minute I would use it, that I wouldn't just come with you. Why did you tell me I had a choice when you knew that you had no intention of letting me make it? Why didn't you just order me to come with you, save us both a lot of time?"

John could see his son digging in for a fight and tried to switch tact. "Ok Dean, I admit it. I don't want you to stay. I put a lot on you, I know. I trust you Dean, I don't think your lazy or stupid. You couldn't be the hunter you're becoming if you were. I need you with me, I need you to look out for your brother for me when I can't…."

"Don't." Dean's voice broke on the word, his head and the volume dropping. "Don't you use Sammy against me."

John knew that he'd got inside the wall a little, saw Dean's resolve falter for an instant at the mention of his brother's name. Dean didn't want to leave Sam so John really should have seen his next request coming again.

He didn't.

"Sam could stay here with me, he'd be safer here. I could look after him."

John silently cursed Mary for putting the idea in his son's head. "No, I told you already, Sam is staying with me. Your sixteen Dean, I'm not leaving him here with you and that's final."

Dean looked up and laughed bitterly. "Why? Do you think that I can't look after him? Hell I'm the one that's been looking after him since I was five."

John lost it a little at the last remark, it stinging a little too close to home for him. "He's _not_ staying and you _are_ coming with us…_and_ _that is an order_."

John watched as Dean froze at the words and he thought that he had broken through but then Dean stood and walked towards the bedroom.

He stopped at the door. "I'm not."

With that he walked through and closed it on his father's stricken face.

John had lost that hand, now he had only his last card to play, but it was a good one. He hoped to God it worked.

----

Sam had listened to his father and his brother's conversation and ducked under the covers when he heard his brother come into the room, feinting sleep.

He listened to Dean's sigh and then the frame of the bed creaking as he lay down. Sam wanted to go over right then and beg his brother to stay but he knew that now wasn't the right time, so he waited, even after Dean fell asleep. His tears started to roll and he let them until finally he couldn't wait any longer and then he quietly crossed over to his brother's bed.

Dean was dreaming when he felt the minor earthquake shudder through him. He rolled over muttering under his breath but the shaking just rolled with him. He was dreaming about his Dad and Sam and Mary, his thoughts jumbled in his head as he tried to wrestle with his decision in his sleep. The earthquake stopped only to resume with extra vigour.

"Dean!" He tried to pull himself from the dream into the harsh reality of the cold motel room. "Dean!" He recognised the voice as that of his younger brother, the shaking Sam's attempt to rouse him and he groaned. Finally he managed to drag himself awake, opening one eye, trying to focus on the clock on the bedside table.

"Dude its four in the morning, this had so better be good." He rolled over, took one look at his little brother's face and was instantly awake.

Tears were streaming down Sam's cheeks and he had obviously been crying for a while, his eyes surrounded by red puffy flesh. "Sammy, what's wrong? Did you have another nightmare?"

His younger brother shook his head and a long painful sob escaped from him. Dean pulled back the covers and Sam hopped in hugging himself to Dean's chest. Dean placed a comforting hand on his little brother's head and started stroking his hair. "Its ok, whatever it is, it'll be ok." He moved over and put his hand under his brother's chin and lifted his face up to look at him. "So what's up? Has someone been picking on you at school again 'cos if they have….."

Sam stopped him with another shake of his head. Dean watched as the tears filled Sam's eyes and tumbled down his cheeks. "Sammy you freaking me out man, tell me what's wrong?"

"Do you love Mary Henderson?" The question caught Dean completely off guard. "You do don't you; I can see it, the way you look at her." Sam dropped his head.

Dean stumbled over his words. "I…well…like her…a lot Sam, she's nice." He knew where this was going but he didn't know how to stop it.

Sam sat up suddenly and stared solemnly into his elder bother's eyes, his own still deep pools full of tears. "No you don't, you love her. Dean are you…..are you gonna leave me?" The seriousness and the sadness of his little brother's tone made Dean's voice catch in his throat.

This was it, the moment Dean had been dreading and he wasn't ready to do this right now, so he stalled. "What? Whatever gave you that idea?" Dean tried for casual as he brushed his brother's hair back again and wiped some of the tears from Sam's face. "Why would you think that?"

"Peter Anderson said that you and Mary Henderson were in love, and people in love get married Dean and that means you're going stay here with her and dad….dad says we're leaving….I heard Dad tell you that you could stay….and then I heard you fighting earlier and you said you were. I don't want you to stay Dean. Please…don't….leave….me." The last part of Sam's sentence was hitched out through sobs.

"Jesus Sam, pipe down you'll wake Dad." Dean's head was racing, his brother's distress pushed away for a moment by the jumble of thoughts in his head. He had wanted to talk to Sam on his own tomorrow, take him somewhere quiet and let him know what he was thinking, let him know how he felt, try to make him understand….just now he couldn't get his own head straight to explain well enough to his brother.

He realised that Sam had said something else and he had missed it. He smiled at his brother "Sorry squirt, I zoned out there for a moment, what did you ask me?"

"Will you promised me that you won't stay, please? Please Dean…promise me that you won't ever leave me…not ever?" Dean had to look away as his brother tried to bore into him with those sad, puppy dog eyes of his. His little brother was asking him something that he didn't want to promise to because to promise to that meant he was stuck in this life forever.

He'd never broken a promise to Sam, not a single one, he wouldn't start now.

"I can't Sammy…please don't ask me to do that."

Sam heard the waver in his brother's voice, knew that he could make Dean stay…all he had to do was ask. Sam desperately wanted his brother to be happy but he wanted more not to lose the one person that had always been there for him, who had never let him down. The one person in this life that he felt loved him and who made him feel safe.

He put his arms round his brother and uttered the killer line.

The one that his father had told him would work.

"I love you…you're all I have….please don't leave me."

Dean thought of Mary and he felt his own tears start to trail his face.

He felt like he was choking, that his world had just shrunk on him until it was only this room and his brother that existed.

There was only one thing that he could do now, he knew that. Dean tightened his own hold on his little brother and hugged him back.

His resolve was gone. He caved.

"I promise Sammy."


	8. Promises to Keep

Well folks this is it the final chapter. Hope you like how it ends.

'til next time, Mary x

Promises to keep

Dean walked out with the two bags, one slung over his shoulder and the other in his hand. He didn't acknowledge his brother or his Dad at the table, just snagged the car keys and strode out the front door. Sam waited for a minute and then hopped down from the chair and followed him out.

Dean was lugging the bags into the car as he walked up.

"Dean?" Sam rounded the flank of the car and stood next to his brother. "I'm sorry I didn't want you to stay. It just…. it's just that I'd miss you."

Dean drew in a long ragged breath. "I know Sammy, I'd have missed you to. I've packed your stuff, go see if I've missed anything."

Sam stood for a moment and then hurried back inside. Dean watched his brother go and the bent down, gripping the edge of the trunk with his hands. Now came the really hard part, the part that was going to rip his heart out for good.

He had to tell Mary.

He slammed the trunk shut and walked back into the motel room. His father's stuff was packed and sitting at the back of the door and John was talking quietly to Sam as Dean walked in, both of them jumping at his sudden arrival.

He caught the guilty look that passed between them and he couldn't help thinking that he'd been played, especially as he tried to catch his father's eye and failed. A little bubble of anger ran through him.

"Sam, you ready?" His brother nodded. "Good, go wait in the car."

Sam looked at his brother and then back at his dad.

"Sam!" Dean walked over and pushed his brother to the door. "Go wait in the car. I've got something that I want to ask Dad."

Sam went to protest but John waved at him. "It's ok kiddo, we won't be long. Take out the bags."

Sam scowled at him but did as he was told.

When the door shut behind his brother Dean turned to his Dad. "You really do think I'm stupid don't you. Nice move…use my brother against me."

John moved as if to touch Dean but his son drew away.

"Save it. I'll stay on three conditions…none of which are negotiable."

John sighed. "What are they?"

"One; I get to go on more hunts, and bigger ones…no more easy salt and burns."

"Ok and two?"

"Sam doesn't. If he has to do research, it's at the weekend only. You let him go out during the week and his schoolwork comes first."

John paused and then nodded. "And three?"

Dean drew in a breath. "I'm dropping out of school. I don't care if it's what you want or not. English lit. isn't much use in hunting anyway." He didn't wait for an answer, he just turned and walked out.

---

They were waiting in the car when John came out, Dean in his usual shotgun and Sam sitting in the back; neither were talking. John got in and started the car up, back her out the space and then swung her out onto the highway.

"We need to make a stop." Dean didn't turn his head from staring out the window.

"House or garage." John opened the car up as the road grew quiet.

"Garage."

---

Mary was sitting in the office when she heard it, the unmistakable sound of the Winchester's car. The deep throaty growl grew as she walked out through the bay and onto the street. The car was parked just past the garage and she could see that all three men were in it.

She felt sick as Dean opened the passenger door and got out, his face not lighting up in it's usual way when he saw her. He walked towards her with his head down, his shoulders hunched and she knew what he was coming to tell her. She wanted to run away and lock herself in the office, not wanting to hear him say goodbye. Instead, she plastered a false smile on her face and walked to met him.

"Hey." She glanced by him at the car. "I see that you made your decision then?" She tried not to have any emotion in her voice as she spoke but she could still detect the little waver in it and knew that he had heard it too.

"I…" He lifted his hand and rubbed it across the back of his neck, his head still down, still not looking at her. "…can't….stay…my brother….I, I promised him." The hand dropped and he lifted his head, using the back of the same hand to wipe his tears from his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Dean." She moved in then, threw her arms around him and held him to her. "It your family, I understand." She marvelled at how she was managing to hold herself together even as she could feel him fall apart in her arms. She put her head against his chest and listened as the tears that feel onto her hair, hitched through him.

"I wanted to stay…I did…I just…Sam…I couldn't." He was lost now, the hitching turning to outright sobbing, holding her so close to him that she felt they had melted into one.

She tried to calm him. "Dean, ssh…it's ok. I know you love me, I know that's not what this is about." She felt her own tears start and she tried to hold on just a little longer. She needed to make him feel that this was alright even when she wanted to scream at him that it wasn't, that it was unfair of his family to drag him away from her. "You need to go with them, they…need…you." She couldn't hold it back any longer, her own tears came and she knew that they must look a sight, standing there, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on not letting go.

Dean pulled back a little and then dipped his head to kiss her, a soft, gentle kiss that quickly escalated, his hands slipping under her shirt, setting her skin on fire as he trailed them over every inch that he could reach, as if he was trying to burn the memory of how she felt under them into his brain forever. She realised that maybe that was exactly what he was doing.

Suddenly he pulled away completely and she mourned the loss of his touch on her skin. "Can you tell Andrew that I'm sorry I just left, that I didn't give him notice."

She looked up at him, startled by the quick change. "Yeah, sure."

She knew that he was trying to get himself under control before he went back to the car but it wasn't working, watching as the tears pooled in his eyes again, she reached up and wiped them away. "Dean, it's ok…we can keep in touch…who knows what will happen in the future."

His sad smile broke her heart even more than it was broken already. Slowly he pulled her back in. "I have to go."

He turned abruptly and started to walk away, and she called his name before she could stop herself. Dean stopped but he didn't turn. Mary walked up behind him and let her hand brush his.

"I've got something for you." She walked round him and unclasped the chain at her neck, dropping it into her hand and letting one of the rings there fall onto her palm. "Would you?" She held the chain and it's one remaining ring back up and he took it from her and fastened it round her neck, her feeling it as he lent in and kissed her neck as he did. When he stepped back she held the ring between her thumb and her finger and gripped his right hand. Slowly she slipped it onto his ring finger on that hand. It was a little big but there was no danger of it falling off. She smiled up at him. "This was my Dad's. It was his wedding band…I want you to have it."

"I can't take this." He turned his hand to stare at the silver ring there.

"Yes you can. I want you to. Promise me you won't forget me?" She closed his hand into a fist and kissed him again, briefly this time. "You'd better go…your family's waiting."

"I'll never take it off." Dean broke his stare from the ring on his hand and looked at her. "I won't forget you, I promise." He brushed her hair back from her face, stole a last kiss, and then let his lips brush her ear, finally whispering the words she had wanted to hear as he did. "I love you."

With that he turned and headed for the car not looking back as he got in and the car slowly pulled away. She watched until it disappeared from sight and then she walked back into the office and closing the door, let the tears flow until she couldn't cry anymore.

---

He wiped his tears as he walked to the car, staring at the ring on his finger as he did and knowing that if he turned round he'd fall apart completely this time. He didn't look at his father or his brother as the car pulled away from the sidewalk and out into the traffic.

John cast him a glance but said nothing, the sight of his son's tear stained face making even him doubt for a moment that this was the right decision, but deep down John had convinced himself that it was. He knew that although Dean would never feel quite the same about anyone the way he did about Mary, there would be others that he could use to ease his pain and heal his heart, even if it was just for a night, God knows that John had.

John couldn't replace his sons, either of them and he would do everything in his power to keep his family together. Sometimes tough love had to be just that. He felt a stab of guilt at using his youngest son against his eldest but he needed Dean with him on this journey, he wondered again how he couldn't just tell his son how much he needed him, how much he loved him. He only hoped that Dean knew.

John watched as Sam sat forward and silently ringed his brother's neck with his arms, trying in that small way to comfort him, watched as Dean acknowledged the gesture by raising his own hand up to grip his brother's tightly, the ring on Dean's finger catching the sun and John's eye at the same time.

It made him look down at his own ring and he though of a promise made a long time ago to his wife, that he would look after their family and keep them safe by keeping them together, a promise that, for as long as he could help it, he didn't intend to break.

No matter how hard it got sometimes.

THE END.

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thank you for reading and the reviews, I love hearing what you all think, it makes it interesting.


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